Listening to: Oliver Shanti - El Futuro de la Alhambra
Got a DA. For a photograph that I wasn't very sure if I should upload, as many of you pointed out. Rather sarcastically, most of them. Well, I do not feel like a vulture anymore - why should I? Does James Nachtwey feel bad for what he photographs? Have you ever seen the movie about him, "War Photographer"? If not, you should.
For those of you who might be interested, here's the story behind this photograph: I was at a photographic journey organized by a Bulgarian photographic forum in the South of the country. I don't really know why I went, I usually am not very much into this kind of thing, I prefer to shoot alone. Anyway, we were going to see an ancient fortress, very rarely visited, in the border zone between Bulgaria and Turkey. On the way there, around 11am, we stopped at a small village, called Sladun, to wait for our guides. We were around 50 photographers, in 12 cars. Everybody stood still in their cars, waiting for the guides...I was wandering around, with my D70 and 18-70 on. Then I saw a photographer, friend of mine, talking with this person, the one from the photograph. I carefully came closer, trying not to be seen, holding the camera at waist level at 18 mm, trying to make one of those stealth wideangle portraits I like...Then i realized that the poor guy was so drunk (remember, it was 11am), that it was completely impossible to understand what he was saying, and that he was completely oblivious of what was going on around him. I made a couple of photos and ran back to the car to mount my Sigma 70-200/2.8 with a 1.4 TC. The others were still sitting in their cars...I ran back to my friend and the drunk man, I got on one knee, and in the split second before I pushed the shutter release I heard the guy mumbling the words from the title. Perfectly clear. I froze, for a fraction of a second I didn't know what to do. Then I pushed the button. And then again. And again. And again. I have around 90 photographs of him....I was blindly, crazily photographing the man's pain. And here comes the really fucked up part: the other photographers noticed me, and after a couple of minutes the guy was surrounded by about 10 photographers, eager to photograph him. Hyenas...That's when I felt disgusted, it was my fault that they had noticed him, although he didn't even see them, kept talking to himself and smoking. I kept thinking about that episode for a long time....Am I any better than the other hyenas who surrounded them without any doubt, any regret? Probably no...
Whatever. For sure I will not have this doubts again soon, now back in Milan I will probably have to photograph only models. I hate and despise fashion photography, so fake and unnatural, far from what is the photographic art for me. But if I want to be famous and do whatever I want, I will have to go this way. It's the only possible one. I fell like a whore. Even worse, because I am not putting my ass on sale, but my soul. What a cliché.
Again, I would like to reply to every single comment and note, but it's simply impossible, so I will use my journal for feedback. Thank you all, your support means very, very much to me.
Got a DA. For a photograph that I wasn't very sure if I should upload, as many of you pointed out. Rather sarcastically, most of them. Well, I do not feel like a vulture anymore - why should I? Does James Nachtwey feel bad for what he photographs? Have you ever seen the movie about him, "War Photographer"? If not, you should.
For those of you who might be interested, here's the story behind this photograph: I was at a photographic journey organized by a Bulgarian photographic forum in the South of the country. I don't really know why I went, I usually am not very much into this kind of thing, I prefer to shoot alone. Anyway, we were going to see an ancient fortress, very rarely visited, in the border zone between Bulgaria and Turkey. On the way there, around 11am, we stopped at a small village, called Sladun, to wait for our guides. We were around 50 photographers, in 12 cars. Everybody stood still in their cars, waiting for the guides...I was wandering around, with my D70 and 18-70 on. Then I saw a photographer, friend of mine, talking with this person, the one from the photograph. I carefully came closer, trying not to be seen, holding the camera at waist level at 18 mm, trying to make one of those stealth wideangle portraits I like...Then i realized that the poor guy was so drunk (remember, it was 11am), that it was completely impossible to understand what he was saying, and that he was completely oblivious of what was going on around him. I made a couple of photos and ran back to the car to mount my Sigma 70-200/2.8 with a 1.4 TC. The others were still sitting in their cars...I ran back to my friend and the drunk man, I got on one knee, and in the split second before I pushed the shutter release I heard the guy mumbling the words from the title. Perfectly clear. I froze, for a fraction of a second I didn't know what to do. Then I pushed the button. And then again. And again. And again. I have around 90 photographs of him....I was blindly, crazily photographing the man's pain. And here comes the really fucked up part: the other photographers noticed me, and after a couple of minutes the guy was surrounded by about 10 photographers, eager to photograph him. Hyenas...That's when I felt disgusted, it was my fault that they had noticed him, although he didn't even see them, kept talking to himself and smoking. I kept thinking about that episode for a long time....Am I any better than the other hyenas who surrounded them without any doubt, any regret? Probably no...
Whatever. For sure I will not have this doubts again soon, now back in Milan I will probably have to photograph only models. I hate and despise fashion photography, so fake and unnatural, far from what is the photographic art for me. But if I want to be famous and do whatever I want, I will have to go this way. It's the only possible one. I fell like a whore. Even worse, because I am not putting my ass on sale, but my soul. What a cliché.
Again, I would like to reply to every single comment and note, but it's simply impossible, so I will use my journal for feedback. Thank you all, your support means very, very much to me.
